Not long ago, I sat in a whale-watching boat in the blue waters of Washington State. Our captain told us about the pod of whales we were following. Known as the J pod, the family group was led by 60-year-old Ruffles and his 90-year-old mother. Trailing behind them were other members of the pod. Together they represented four, maybe five generations.
As the boat’s engine went silent, we began to scan the water for dorsal fins and tail slaps. The captain explained how these whales formed lifelong bonds and helped care for one another. In many ways, it seemed to parallel the full family of God.
I continued to think about the whales and about mixing ages in intergenerational ministry. I wondered what that kind of ministry is and what is it not.
I posed the question to the Rev. Tom Beagan, a United Methodist minister from the Detroit Conference who is the director of The Logos Ministry, which trains church leaders for effective family ministry. Mr. Beagan says that just because a church has mixed ages in worship or in fellowship does not mean intergenerational ministry is taking place.
If relationships among people of all ages are not being intentionally built and strengthened, he says, and if young and old are not serving side-by-side, it is not authentic intergenerational ministry.
Intergenerational ministry stands in contrast to much of our culture, Mr. Beagan adds. Think about it. Most schools and sports teams are divided into age brackets. Even churches segregate ministries by age. Children and youth have their own ministry staff and meeting spaces; adults have their own.
Though age separations are reasonable and necessary at times, they can easily become a barrier to becoming the true body of Christ. How then do we break down those generational barriers that keep us from being a full family of God?
The Rev. Ann Willet, senior pastor of FUMC Royse City, Texas, talks about her vision of having worship led by people of all generations—and not just on special occasions. She encourages multi-aged, small-group Bible studies as one way to cross the generational divide. She also described the magic of seeing gray heads worshipping next to their young faith partners as a vital part of the confirmation experience.
The Rev. Jennifer Scott, pastor of children’s ministries of FUMC Coppell, Texas, recognized the potential of intergenerational ministry when she first paired older adults with younger folks as prayer partners. As mixed generations regularly met together to pray in the chapel, bonds were formed between the age groups. She has also organized her church’s first Intergenerational Mission Retreat.
Both pastors agree that building relationships between young and old is more important now than ever before, because many children and youth have limited interaction with older relatives who live far away. Unless the church is deliberate in its intergenerational ministry efforts, there may be little opportunity for younger folks to bond with older adults.
True intergenerational ministry requires churches to rethink the way they are doing current ministries, says Mr. Beagan. Instead of youth-only mission trips, consider church-wide mission trips that are planned by the youth, but open to all.
Instead of nursing home ministries carried out by active retirees, ask children’s choirs to participate alongside their older counterparts in providing monthly worship services.
Youth might use their computer skills to teach older adults how to e-mail and explore the Internet.
There is tremendous strength in intergenerational ministry. Not as another program, but as a way of being the church at its best.
Start small, if you must, to build relationships among the generations. Encourage young and old to serve alongside each other. Whatever you do, don’t wait. Just start!
Ms. Buchanan, a member of FUMC Rockwall, Texas, is author of the upcoming Talking with God in Old Age: Meditations and Psalms (Upper Room Books).
Missy Buchanan
By Missy Buchanan 
