REFLECTIONS: Blessings happen when love comes to us again Bishop Woodie W. White, Nov 19, 2009
Bishop Woodie White
By Bishop Woodie White UMR Columnist
Parents aren’t meant to bury a child, especially a little one! But when the unthinkable occurs, “devastation” hardly describes what happens.
For these parents, the unbearable pain seems to take life itself out of them. They feel certain that the love they knew for the child will never come again. Sometimes, love seems to be taken away altogether. In time, they seek to find a way to function, but it is never the same.
Then, in the midst of unutterable pain and an unnamable wilderness, another life enters the lives of the bewildered couple: They are blessed with another child. Their feelings are tempered as they tentatively begin to envelop the new little one, whose life brings new laughter and smiles into a home that has been absent of both.
One day, they realize that something has happened: Love has come again into their lives.
I have often asked myself following the death of another’s beloved spouse, “How will he make it?” They were so close. They knew each other so long—they dated in high school and seemed to be married forever. They had a special connection. Friends and families often commented, “They were meant for each other.”
But the time comes, as it will for all of us, and the love and life that we know is interrupted by death. It takes little regard for our wishes, needs, hopes and dreams. It leaves one without the other—empty, alone, loveless.
Then, breaking into the excruciatingly lonely days and nights spent puttering around the house and having meals alone, it happens. Just as a new life was about to emerge without her, love comes again, unique as each love is unique.
Life begins to smile again! Life is worthwhile and purposeful again. And the two become one. It is glorious to behold.
Too many families, siblings, relatives, and even parents and children know the awful experience of deep-seated resentment. Anger and disappointment turns into resentment that approaches feelings of hatred. They cannot be in the same room together. If it happens, they ignore each other. There is no acknowledgement and no greeting, only complete estrangement.
It can happen in valued relationships outside the family as well. Love is lost.
Sometimes, through much prayer and even intervention by others, healing comes in time, and brings a love that is even more profound. In the midst of irreconcilable difference, love comes again.
Love that is thought to be gone is rediscovered. It was simply hibernating, waiting to be awakened. It was awaiting a word, a touch, an acknowledgement. It had not left after all; it was merely neglected.
I wonder if that is what St. Paul meant when he said, “love never ends.” It is always there—inexhaustible—only needing nourishment and an opportunity to grow and flourish. Love never ends, and therein is the possibility to love and be loved again.
In this Thanksgiving season, countless of us will offer thanks for so many blessings. God will be praised and words of gratitude will be offered for gifts large and small.
But for some, the prayers and thanks will be for love that has come into their life again. The empty place has been filled. God will be pleased.
A blessed Thanksgiving indeed.
Retired Bishop White is the denomination’s Endorsing Agent for Chaplain Ministries and bishop-in-residence at Candler School of Theology.
Bishop Woodie White
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